nine.dollar.sandwich

redirectin' yo a$$

2011-06-21T13:10:00.000-07:00

i'm taking this ish to tumblr because i want to be more cooler.

go here from now on.

guess i'm into hearts lately

2011-05-10T18:07:00.001-07:00

so celestial

2011-05-09T17:20:00.000-07:00

N E U R O G A S M

2011-04-13T18:05:00.000-07:00

Anyone bought a women's magazine lately? I am LOVIN those "Neurogasm" ads. Spectacular, really.

garance dore knock-off

2011-04-13T15:24:00.001-07:00

"jessie"

2011-03-13T18:25:00.000-07:00

I was watching What Not to Wear one night, and at first was going to draw the subject of the makeover in a rude, caricature-ish style. However, it seems her adorable, soft-spoken Texas girl personality won me over, because the drawing took quite a different turn. I think this is what I pictured her looking like in her younger years. Watch the clip, maybe you'll get it too.

trying a new thai restaurant on 2nd ave

2011-03-13T18:17:00.001-07:00

space, baby!

2011-02-10T17:56:00.001-08:00

stank face

2011-02-10T17:55:00.000-08:00

three domes/charlie's angels (i guess)?

2011-01-26T14:54:00.001-08:00

sunday/jokes

2011-01-19T10:16:00.001-08:00

uno dos tres

2011-01-09T16:22:00.000-08:00

Made these during my "vacation" a few months ago, then stashed them away and forgot about them. The top one is my favorite.

an oldie

2011-01-09T16:20:00.000-08:00

Doodles upon doodles.

you're a (russian) dollbaby

2010-12-03T16:39:00.000-08:00

WHATCHU SAY HUH

2010-11-30T18:29:00.000-08:00

There was one more lady involved in this scene, but she got cut off. That was a great reality show, "Cut Off". Quite droll, that one. Anyway I didn't think her absence disturbed the scene.

seeing stars?

2010-11-30T18:27:00.000-08:00

facez

2010-11-30T18:25:00.001-08:00

my heroes

2010-11-30T18:23:00.000-08:00

This is bigger than 8.5 x 11 so it doesn't fit in the new scanner. Sometimes it works, but on this one, I had to give ya the detail on my rendition of Danielle Staub's sweet implant job. Top right reads "itz so juicy". It really, really is.

reactionary bad girls club cartoon

2010-11-30T18:18:00.000-08:00

Seriously! Those bitches be fucked.

some old doodles

2010-11-30T18:15:00.001-08:00

I BOUGHT A SCANNER. My life is complete.

probably the best thing i've ever made

2010-11-17T08:46:00.001-08:00

recently

2010-11-17T08:43:00.000-08:00

sketchy snooki

2010-11-17T08:38:00.000-08:00

a foray into boxes

2010-11-12T10:14:00.000-08:00

This is my attempt at drawing a comic from about 2 years ago when I was a receptionist and had lots of free time to write text into tiny Sharpie-drawn squares. I like the drawings I did, but not the excessive writing, or the fact that I clearly never finished it. Or, well let's just pretend I meant it to end where it does. Sure why not.

As always, click on the images to see them in more detail (aka read what it says without damaging your eyes).

attempt #2

2010-11-12T10:08:00.000-08:00

attempt #1

2010-11-12T09:51:00.000-08:00

I love hearing people say ridiculous things as I'm passing them in some public place, things that just make no sense or sound absurd when they're taken out of context. Hence my idea to make a series of drawings called "Out of Context", where I would make a point to write down the silly quotes I end up hearing on a day to day basis, and then illustrate them in some way.

Here's the first one I did a few months ago. However, someone recently sparked the new idea to do sort of this same idea, but have the drawings not necessarily related to what is being said, whereas I had initially imagined all the drawings as conversations. Which they could still be, but perhaps it's, oh I dunno, chickens having the conversation. I want to take it in a less literal direction. Hopefully I will take it anywhere at all, instead of just dropping it like I tend to do with my "ideas".

chopped up some of my doodle pads.

2010-11-12T09:36:00.000-08:00

i've always liked this one

2010-11-12T09:27:00.001-08:00

mehhh

2010-11-09T12:19:00.000-08:00

found this

2010-08-08T18:05:00.000-07:00

found this too

2010-08-08T18:04:00.000-07:00

red genie pants i suppose

2010-08-08T17:56:00.000-07:00

'nother profile lady

2010-07-15T18:49:00.000-07:00

"oh.my.god." - usher

2010-06-27T18:03:00.000-07:00

Yesterday at H&M I saw the best hair on a lady I've ever seen in person. I would give my firstborn for her thick, ass-length, sun-kissed chestnutty mane that was cut and styled into pure 70s perfection. It looked a little something like this:

king tutank-HAM-un

2010-06-22T17:20:00.001-07:00

Making this collage alone one evening made me LOL real good. Almost as good as my bacon pun (if you can call it that) in the title. I'll put the plethora of old magazines in my apartment to use, and try to make some more like this.

some call it arrogance, i call it confidence

2010-06-22T17:17:00.001-07:00

These floating heads are part of larger cartoonz. One is saying "I'm saaaah beautiful", and the other says "Haters? They're going to hate." Except the photographs I took of the whole pictures came out terrible, so you're stuck with just face-parts. Who wants to buy me a scanner?

poor man's leeloo

2010-06-22T17:14:00.000-07:00

The boyfriend thinks this looks like an 'anime lady', but I think she just kind of sucks.

three new ladies, just for nicole.

2010-05-17T17:53:00.000-07:00

i call it: "matching twins aproaching a light"

2010-03-23T18:27:00.000-07:00

what do you think it was about?

2010-02-26T09:36:00.001-08:00

why, hello there!

2010-02-26T09:34:00.000-08:00

....were we talking?

2010-02-26T09:03:00.000-08:00

a medley

2009-12-29T16:17:00.000-08:00

Recently I bought a set of watercolor pencils, and a small pad of watercolor paper. This is what's in it so far.

these bitches are talkin bout me!

2009-11-06T16:47:00.000-08:00

The first one is a dead ringer for Charlene Yi. And the second lady looks like shizz - it's really hard to get some of my drawings to translate into digital images.

It's really, really hard.

glam lady

2009-10-14T16:38:00.000-07:00

don't look at me, betch !

2009-10-12T13:05:00.000-07:00

your eyebrows, they look like, your eyelashes

2009-09-28T17:26:00.000-07:00

heidi montag?

2009-09-21T19:07:00.000-07:00

I concede that this doesn't look that much like Heidi Montag. I was having a very hard time drawing her, but I was trying to capture her enormous square chin/jawline, weird nose and vapid, milk-fed dopeyness. While I may have succeeded in doing those things, I still don't think this looks much like our beloved Heidi.

u r so beautiful 2 me

2009-09-09T16:00:00.000-07:00

A series of funny-looking ladies I drew on parchment paper.
If a crazed murderer said you had to either get a face transplant or be murdered, and your only choices were these particular lady faces, which one would you pick and why?

cape cod

2009-08-10T19:00:00.000-07:00

xoxo

2009-08-10T15:07:00.000-07:00

These were made with some photos I took (of myself). I feel that they represent my intense desire to make out (with myself). I'm hoping that these works convey that this desire is a very normal one, shared by most people and isn't something that I should be worried about at all.

what happens when you doodle while watching tim & eric

2009-07-28T13:18:00.000-07:00

Rolo Tony Brown Town
Check yourself out at the dooooorrrrrr
Give us all some Rolo's
You know you've got to give us some mooorrreee
of those Rolo's

just a blonde lady

2009-07-20T13:29:00.000-07:00

strollin'

2009-07-13T07:30:00.000-07:00

dead stuff (kale)

2009-07-08T18:52:00.000-07:00

I broke my camera this past weekend. Now I have a big depression.

that i'm not gonna write you a love song girl

2009-06-30T18:18:00.000-07:00

it never is

2009-06-21T15:59:00.000-07:00

handz

2009-06-18T06:25:00.000-07:00

They say you can tell a lot about a person by how they shake hands, but I think you can only tell one thing - how they feel about shaking hands with you.

stephanie pratt?

2009-06-08T08:20:00.000-07:00

Drawing the cast of The Hills is a thing I have assigned myself to do. They are all just such...interesting people.

I also probably should have taken a better picture of this drawing, since I don't think it transferred very well to being computerized...Looks much better on paper, methinks.

i honestly don't love myself THAT much...

2009-06-05T08:35:00.000-07:00

I'm just usually the only willing model. Seriously, send me some hot pix of yourself - I'd love to fiddle with someone else's face for a change.

a thing i made in college

2009-06-04T08:55:00.000-07:00

Here is a thing I made in college. It's my friend Jenna. She is a 'follower' of this blog, but not a 'follower' in life, which is like, so great. However, I'm not sure if she is actually a 'reader' of this blog.

Hi Jenna!

the spiders from...lexington avenue

2009-06-02T14:55:00.000-07:00

This looks a lot better if you click on it.

audrina patridge?

2009-05-30T12:54:00.000-07:00

pro-gres-sion

2009-05-30T07:51:00.000-07:00

now here's a crazy lady

2009-05-27T17:52:00.000-07:00

dead stuff (tulips)

2009-05-25T18:46:00.000-07:00

another portrait of someone i know...

2009-05-25T18:30:00.000-07:00

Not one of my BFFs, so might be harder to guess, but I think this one has a good resemblance.

how i feel. kind of.

2009-05-21T12:48:00.000-07:00

i shot the princess

2009-05-19T14:58:00.000-07:00

And later, the sheriff.

this lady likes green

2009-05-17T11:31:00.000-07:00

Completely exhausted from this weekend. I managed to click some buttons though, and bring this green lady to your screen, lady.

I wish this ho would tell me how to get my hairs as big as hers. Betch!

it's friday, let's get weird

2009-05-15T13:22:00.000-07:00

'scuze me?

2009-05-14T13:13:00.000-07:00

Another painting of someone you might know. I think this one is pretty dead on, to be honest...if you went to HWS, take a shot at it. Of course, she's never seen it.

Thanks for getting your votes in! It was a tie - according to you guys, dreams are equally made of whales, snails and puppy dog tails, as well as Spencer Pratt's flesh-colored beard. Stay tuned for more highly relevant poll-ery!

hey me too

2009-05-13T13:31:00.000-07:00

not so friendly

2009-05-12T17:11:00.000-07:00

This lady looks like she might be perturbed, or tired. Or like maybe she served a bunch of people lunch at a restaurant in Midtown, went to H&M and then took a nap on her couch. Or not - that would be me.

wow what a great looking lady!!!

2009-05-12T16:59:00.000-07:00

This is also on my Flickr...but most of you don't know I have a Flickr. Because there's not a lot of interesting stuff on there. I sort of wish I didn't have a Flickr. The end.

i like to...

2009-05-11T12:48:00.000-07:00

Add fake lens flares to pictures.

scary spice

2009-05-06T14:07:00.000-07:00

This is a picture of a scary lady.

This is her boyfriend.

They are basically in love, but I wouldn't want to hang out with them.

like a mango and a lime

2009-05-04T12:53:00.000-07:00

This is another totally stalker thing I made. When I'm pressed for ideas to draw, I'll go on Facebook and click through pictures of my friends. The final products usually look better, since I have a bit of an "outline" for reference, so I feel super talented, but also creepy, because it means I'm obsessing over their face without them even knowing. I just feel like, if you're going to study the size of someone's nostrils, they should probably be aware of the fact.

I find myself attracted to orange and green lately, colors I am not usually into. Thoughts? Throw out a guess for who this is?

Also, GRIDS and swine flu are neck and neck kids! Make sure you get your vote in for this extremely important poll!

lol jk

2009-05-01T17:00:00.000-07:00

Lauren?

2009-04-30T14:26:00.000-07:00

Freshman year in college, I painted a picture of Lauren that was so heinous looking, it became a joke and was therefore displayed on our wall every year after that. We would tell visitors that I had painted her 'portrait' (which I had - just failed miserably) and wait for their reaction. It looked like a bloated catfish, faulted only to my lack of skill of course, as Lauren does not resemble a catfish.

This was an an attempt from this past summer, and while significantly cuter, I'm not sure if it's any more "Lauren" than the famed catfish painting. Think it's creepy that I'll just make a portrait of someone without their knowledge? I probably have one of you.

SeXy LaDy

2009-04-30T05:21:00.000-07:00

This lady impresses me. Usually my ladies don't come out this sexy - or sly. I think we can all agree this lady is both sexy and sly, a dangerous combination for a lady to have.

Today, I'm a lady with a job, for the first time in four months. So I guess I can say I feel pretty sexy/sly. But also not, because after listening to NPR for about thirty minutes, I'm almost certain I'm going to contract swine flu once I walk outside. Swine flu is the new SARS.

blue pencil ladies

2009-04-29T08:06:00.000-07:00

These are some blue colored pencil ladies for your enjoyment.

(I Know it Doesn't)

2009-04-28T18:08:00.000-07:00

bun bun.

2009-04-28T10:11:00.000-07:00

Lately I really want a bunny. This is a picture of a bun-bun I drew - it's basically how I imagine my future bunny will look, and also what he/she will do. Although I can't decide whether I want a big fat bunny, with lots of stuff to squeeze, or a tiny little bun-bun, that fits in the palm of my hand. Or a gray or brown bun. But I do know that it will be eating carrots and smiling and hopping all day long. Absolutely none of this matters because I will not be getting a bunny. Not even if they do adoptions at the PetCo on 86th St. It's not like I checked. Whatever I don't even care.

Umm soo...this blog is going to be a purge zone for the vast load of lowbrow artsy crap I make. It will be even less relevant than my other blogs. No one will read it though, so it doesn't matter.

Good day to you.